i put a few more things in the shop...

Right here. Market dress in size 2, 4, and 8.

new goodies from lena's sale

Mociun dress + tiny bunny by Sian Keegan.

lena's summer sale

Lucky me for moving to New York because I had the chance to go to the summer sale at Lena's design studio on Saturday. The sale was a dream come true, with all sorts of amazing goods from some of my favorite designers. But besides that, I just loved being around so many creative, talented women. It was exciting to meet some of my blogging buddies for the first time in person, to laugh with them, and to sense a shared passion for design. I wish I could have bought one of everything at the sale, but I only bought two things. I'll share those with you tomorrow...

birthday gifts

My birthday was in May, but I totally forgot to post about the birthday gifts I got from Elly and Tova. Tova made me a finger painting entitled "Best Friend Owls"! Um, adorable. Super impressive for a five-year-old. Actually, I'm 28, and I'm pretty sure I couldn't even make a drawing that good. And Elly hand-knitted me a beautiful sweater. It feels so good knowing that people spent time making me things and thought about me while doing it. That is the best kind of gift. Oh, and also jewelry. That last part was just for you Joe, if you're reading this. : )

off to a good start

Today is my first day back to work after the move. I'm so excited about working again--I've really missed sewing. And knitting. I spent the entire day yesterday all by myself knitting, and it was heaven. Joe had to work his second overnight shift, so I was home alone. I really enjoyed it because my life has been a whirlwind of social activity since I got here, which is great, but I love being by myself too. The more time I spend alone in this apartment the more I realize how much I love this place. I don't want to ever move out! I feel SO comfortable here. Too bad we're only subleasing...

Anyways, I started my first work day off with such a yummy breakfast, and it really gave me more energy for my day. I hate to admit this, but I usually begin my mornings with a power bar (ew!) and a Red Bull. (Double ew!) And then I crash a little later and have to have a diet Coke. So I'm going to start eating fresh foods and drinking tea instead. I already feel like I have more energy, and I haven't even had any caffeine today. Hopefully it will keep me more focused on a daily basis, and I'll be able to get more work done.

favorite sandals

These are the sandals I was wearing in this post. I first saw them on Jumelle's website (love that store!), but they were sold out in my size. So I ended up getting them on Dolce Vita's website when they were having a Memorial Day sale. I wear them pretty much every day, and I love them. Dolce Vita has so many good pairs of sandals this season! I think these are super cute too, especially with the silver toe nail polish.

spotted

What the heck do I do with all this fabric?

I was in a bad mood yesterday. Real bad. Maybe it’s because I didn’t get much sleep the night before. The man who lives on the floor above us stomps around at night and yells at his girlfriend. “THIS IS THE END OF THIS CONVERSATION! I AM SO DONE WITH THIS!!!” is something I have heard him say. Other things too. I know who he is. He’s in a band. I won’t say which one because I don’t want to get in trouble, but I will say is that it was Joe’s favorite band when he was in high school. And John C. Reilly played this guy in one of the band's music videos.

So back to the story…I didn’t get much sleep the night before, and I had a miserable day of sorting through loads of fabric and trying to figure out where to put what in my office. I was so sick of unpacking and trying to get my apartment in order and just ready to start work. Enough is enough. So after a full day of this frustration, I headed out to the corner bodega to grab some caffeine. Let me set the scene by saying that my hair was greasy, I was wearing my Kansas t-shirt and a ratty old zip up hoodie, and I hadn’t even bothered to wash my face or cover my dark under eye circles. So I’m walking down the street and I notice some girl staring at me. I literally SCOWL back at her like “What the eff are you looking at, beeotch?” And at that very moment she says, “I read your blog!” Dang.

new chapter

graduation day

When Joe and I first found out we were moving here, it was a bit of a shock. I was sad and worried, not knowing if I could leave my home, family, friends, and way of life behind. There was a lot of stress involved in the move, and we had to worry about finding an apartment and selling our house. And would we have enough money to live on? However, I think my biggest concern was the fact that medical residencies are very demanding. On the doctors themselves, but also on the wives and families. I’ve heard horror stories about how many hours a week residents are required to work. And Joe told me he would basically be going in to work at 5 AM every day and not coming home until late at night. Except for the months he would have to stay overnight at the hospital. Yikes. I worried that I wouldn’t get to see Joe ever, and I would miss him so much. I’m a person that can keep myself entertained, but how can you have a relationship with someone you never see? I worried, “Would he and I grow apart?” Would he come home stressed out and tired and grumpy all the time? What would happen to us?

We’ve been through a lot of things in our seven-year relationship (not the kind of stuff I usually write about on my blog), and I do have trust in our ability to weather a storm and become stronger. Maybe the force behind my anxiety has been a fear of change. I'm someone who goes to a restaurant and always orders the same dish for six months in a row. But then again after I get sick of it, I try a new dish and order that for six months. Maybe New York and residency is my new dish. I’ve also heard from wives of doctors that although their husbands work long hours and get paid very little during residency, that time was still one of their favorites. I think maybe it can be so difficult that people really form strong bonds because they are going through it together.

Now that I’m here in New York, I know that this will be good for me. I already feel that I’m getting out of my Kansas rut and experiencing new things. Kansas was so easy, and New York is not. But sometimes easy is not a good thing. I get lazy and complacent when things are easy. My life stagnates.

When I look back over my blog posts about moving, I see that I was trying to express what I was going through, and I don’t think some people really “got” it. Some of the comments were so sweet, and some of them were just either insensitive or too simplistic. A lot of the message I got was “You should be happy!” Well, life is not that black and white. There are gray areas and mixed feelings. Sometimes people feel sad or anxious. The only way to get past that is to feel the pain and then move on, not to bury it under cheer. I don’t feel happy or excited or positive all the time. I’m okay with that. It wouldn’t be genuine to pretend otherwise. I do try to live my life with a positive attitude, but it’s also very important to me to feel my feelings honestly and express them honestly.

Sometimes when I feel misunderstood, I wonder if I should just stop posting anything personal on my blog at all. Because some people act as if it gives them license to judge my life or talk to me/about me like they know me. Most of the personal stuff in my life doesn’t get anywhere near my blog, but I do like to post about life things that seem appropriate and interesting in a public forum. The thought of not being able to do that anymore makes me sad because I love expressing/journaling my thoughts (about some things) on my blog. It’s a really great outlet for me. And I guess it’s nice to feel heard. Maybe it’s okay that my feelings aren’t always validated by the comments. I just wonder if it’s worth it.

Joe started his first day today at work as a real doctor. I am so immensely proud of him. The last four years have been difficult, and he’s worked his butt off. We’re both nervous, but I think excited too. Doing general surgery (for the first two years before he starts Urology) in the middle of Manhattan, I think he will see some crazy stuff! Maybe it will be tougher than some of the other residency programs he could have joined, but I think he will gain much more experience. I believe in him so much and in what he’s doing. Really. My doctor Joe. He has a good heart and wants to help people, which makes this all worth it.

uniqlo

Joe and I went on our first shopping excursion since moving to NYC. We really have no business doing any shopping since our move was so expensive, but Elly's birthday is this week. So we headed to my favorite cheap shop, Uniqlo. (So much better than H&M in my opinion!) I wish they still had the Steven Alan stuff, but oh well. I got a little carried away trying on stuff as I was searching for a present, and I gave the whole distressed, rolled up boyfriend jeans and shorts thing a try. Joe was not a fan. I liked them though, mainly because they were super comfortable and only nineteen bucks. But I didn't get any. I did, however, get Elly a present there (not pictured). I can't decide if I'm going to return it though. I feel like I should get her something better than cheap clothing--I mean, she is my best friend, for crying out loud! She deserves so much more. Now if only I could find my sewing machine under all the piles of crap in my apartment in time to make her something for her b-day...

montauk

Joe rode his bike out to Montauk with some of our friends last weekend. 100 miles. Insane. It took them eight or nine hours. Since I don't get enjoyment out of torturing my body, I drove there to meet up with them. It's really nice to have a car here for weekend trips upstate or to the coast. (Also for driving myself and friends to Ikea, which I've already done three times...) The drive there was so beautiful during sunset, and then at twilight a delicate mist covered everything. It looked like a dream. Except for that in my dreams there is never a mist covering anything. Anyways, I drove through the Hamptons (which I'd never seen before) to get to Montauk and listened to the new Neko Case cd three times in a row. Everything was so picturesque. I love the wood-shingled cottages that are everywhere along the road. I'm really looking forward to exploring more of New England the East Coast while I'm living here.

my new home

I'm here, in New York! And I finally just got internet access yesterday. Our apartment is a total mess, as we are still unpacking and arranging. But the bedroom is completely done, so I thought I'd post a few pics. I feel so comfortable in my new place and am having a good time so far. I can't say the same for my cats unfortunately. They seem to hate the loud city noises and keep clawing at the front door as if to say "Let me see the rest of the house! Surely this can't be all there is to it?" Seymour went on a hunger strike for four days. But I believe that in time they will adjust, as will I. I'm enjoying the neighborhood and the delicious smell of baking bread that wafts into the window every night from the bakery a few doors down. Also, there is good news for me--my office is big enough to fit my sewing table! I'll post more photos as soon as everything starts coming together. I think things are about to get way more exciting on this blog...