8.29.2014

hello again

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My friend Lisa created this sweet little baby bonnet for a class that she's teaching, and I took some photos of Iris wearing it.  It makes me want to start knitting and sewing again and taking photos and blogging.  Iris is almost 8 months old!  And I've done very little of those things since she arrived on the scene.  Our situation is a bit complicated, and life has just taken over.  It's difficult to find time for those things during this season of my life.  I love this little family that I've created--it's so good and yet so hard all at the same time.  I'm certainly not able to "have it all" right now, and I'm okay with that on most days.  There are days that I feel frustrated.  I have to remind myself that just because I don't "have it all", it doesn't mean that I don't have a lot.  Because I do.  And things change.

  I do miss blogging.  I think at some point I  kind of lost my way with this blog and the ability to open myself up in this space.  This has always been a personal blog, and to some degree I used to share some of my struggles as well as triumphs.  I knew why I was writing--I wanted to tell about things that interested me and to connect with others.  But the more popular my blog became, the more people began to criticize.  To some people my struggles seemed like complaining and my triumphs seemed smug.  When that started happening I sort of lost interest, because once upon a time it felt like I was writing to friends.  All of the sudden it felt like I didn't know who I was speaking to anymore, and so I just sort of stopped speaking at all.  I didn't actually stop on purpose.  It just stopped being a habit I made time for because it stopped feeling natural and bringing me joy.

Blogs are so fabulous these days, aren't they?  So professional.  Everyone has amazing photos and lives.  And yet are people still reading blogs?  It's hard for me to even keep up with them because there are just too many good ones.  I don't bother much anymore, but there are a couple of blogs that I still read religiously through Feedly on my phone while pumping breast milk.  They're some of the same ones I used to read 8 years ago, back when the blog world felt small and cozy to me.  They make me feel inspired and refreshed.  I guess that will be a good goal for me to have in the future with this blog, if I can carve out some time--to share things that make me feel that way.  I hope I'll eventually find my way back.

52 comments:

Lesley Watson said...

How beautifully put and such a bonnie wee baby, you have it all. Enjoy this precious time. I enjoy your lovely design and style. Lesley - Scotland xx

Elizabeth said...

Hi Jenny - I've been reading your blog for years and year and years and have never actually commented before on your blog (or any blog for that matter! I guess I'm shy?) But I felt like I should write you today and tell you that I always am so happy when a new post from you pops up in my blog reader - I was thrilled to see one from you today after so long - I was afraid you had given it up completely. I'm always interested to hear what you are making and thinking. I hope that you'll keep going, because I've found so much of interest in the things that you share. Honestly, your blog was one of the reasons I started reading blogs in the first place! Take care and I hope you find your way to this space regularly in the future. Oh, and your daughter is adorable!

Lily said...

I go through phases in my Feedly where I add a bunch of what I'm digging at the time and then purge when I lose interest or the blog turns away from what I like. But it's so nice to have my solid core of bloggers I've been reading for (probably) 8 years such as yourself. It's like a family, and it's lovely! Babies are so amazing and terrible but we just have to love every minute of it. And you'll find yourself again soon. And having it all will come back in a different way, that might be better. Chin up! :-)

D White said...

I second what Elizabeth said!ˆˆ

hilarymargaret said...

I second Elizabeth's comments...I was happy to see an update from your blog in my Feedly reader :) Congratulations on your beautiful family, Jenny! I do hope you find your way back to designing, blogging and contributing to the creative community in whatever way possible...

Amanda said...

Well, I certainly hope you do find your way back, because I always loved reading your posts. I also know from my own life that priorities and time constraints change a lot once you have a baby. But I'll be here ready to read whenever you are able to write. Many of my very favorite blogs, the quiet ones, have sort of tapered off and I miss them!

Lezac said...

Hi Jenny, I'm much the same as some of the other girls/readers commenting here. When I saw your instagram post this morning; letting us know you had posted a blog, I held off, checked the rest of my social media and saved you for last. Your insights on life are always so refreshing and honest and I really look forward to hearing about your life art & design. I too have been listening/ watching you from the beginning and am so pleased that you have decided to let us in again. You are a wonderful writer and an exceptional creator! Good-luck with your heart and your new beginning. x

Kristy Naylor said...

I didn't start sewing and knitting again until my daughter was about 11 months old. Until that time it was just too much. All of a sudden something clicked, more than likely it was linked to baby sleeping better. Suddenly I enjoyed it and looked forward to crafting again. Your time will come. I thought it might help to know that this happens to others too, we're not all lucky enough to be happily knitting socks while baby sleeps on our lap (which is how I imagined it would be). I love your blog and no matter how infrequent I will always look forward to reading it and drawing inspiration from it. x K

r.martin said...

Jenny I think people will always respond and support positively those people who humbly and transparently share their ups and downs. As long as you remember who you really are good, bad and ugly and are honest about that no one can truly steal your joy. I have a few blogs that I have been reading for a long time but recently I have felt them distancing them selves because of their success. Unfortunately I feel like it's a double edged sword .....As they become more well known and more successful they tend to lose touch with reality ( as in they feature ridiculously cool but ridiculously priced items) . All this to say that I think it's more brave to share your own reality, and reality is messy, imperfect, and absolutely wonderful! That's what I'll stick around to read, share, and learn from. You'r doing great lady. :)

Dana said...

Jenny - one of the reasons why I've loved your blog and followed it for so long is because, despite the fact that you're beautiful and talented, you've always seemed like someone who I could actually be friends with. You have - and I hope you take this in the best way possible - a lovely vulnerability to you and that's what makes you accessible and human. Your blog reminds me of what blogs used to be - wonderful, real insights into lovely people's lives. Don't ever feel like you have to be like the others. Be like yourself, and trust your instincts, because they seem wonderful. I don't read your blog because I want to take something from you - I read your blog because it makes me feel, in some weird way, like we're giving something to each other. Support, encouragement, life. Whatever.

Your daughter is so sweet and lovely and I hope you continue to follow what your heart tells you to. And I hope you know that there's a community out there who wants and values something real and authentic.

courtney said...

I still read blogs daily and miss so many of the bloggers who once wrote regularly. I think a lot of them experienced that same criticism, and it's unfortunate. It's always good to see a post from you--your blog was one that always inspired so many people. Also Iris is adorable!

Mónica - Abilia said...

I love your blog and the creative work you show. Please, come back on it!

verónica*moar cerámica said...

So nice to see (read) you again.
Best wishes from Spain and welcome back!

V.

annton beate Schmidt said...

Iris's eyes are like deep and peaceful lakes. So, so beautiful. For the rest of your words, I know what you mean. I am still pretty good in ignoring the outside world when blogging, but when I feel insecure and not motivated, I'll let it rest and come back when digging it again.

Suzy said...

So nice to read your post, and see the photos - your little one is adorable. And I enjoyed your thoughts on blogging too. So many of my favourite blogs from way back have either tapered off or become very slick and commercial - I kind of miss the "old days" of blogging, where people felt more able to share openly. I know I've become more guarded on my own blog too, I really only use it for documenting projects now, I just lost the momentum for sharing that I used to have. Anyway, it was lovely to read your post, I hope that you'll have a chance for making and blogging again some time in the future.

Lara said...

Hi! I hope you will share more of your thoughts and life again. I'm sorry it became a tense thing for you, because I always appreciated your directness and the beauty you create. I miss the old blogs, that weren't so flashy but did help us feel a connection to people outside our own circle.

Kate said...

I've been reading your blog for a while, too, and although I admire that you keep it authentic--if you don't feel like blogging, you don't! I think that's cool. It makes the times you post original. I've stopped reading quite a few blogs because I think people who run popular blogs feel the need to post really often; there are only a few I still read, and most of them are infrequent posters. Anyways, I'll keep reading, whenever you feel like posting!

Moonlight said...

I've been reading your blog for a fair amount of time, and I live on a small island in the Mediterranean. Haters are really gonna hate, so why bother? Do you think that those big, beautiful, successful blogs don't get hate comments? Just be you, write about what you want, and don't let those comments get to you. After all, why are they still reading you? :)

Reana Louise said...

Haha what a cutie-patootie in that beanie! I'm sorry you feel that way about the blogging community, but I totally understand. I get such positive responses, but I guess I'm not as big with as many 'here's-my-two-cents-you-never-asked-for' comments. I don't comment often, but know I love reading your updates & seeing your instagram posts (especially if that little cutie is involved!) x

rdesigns said...

I've loved reading your blog and feel the same way. Still reading those I started years ago that leave me feeling inspired.
I have a 9 week old and it's quite helpful to read your acceptance of not having the time to pursue all your interests during this season of life. I am feeling as inspired and creative as ever, dreaming of project after project while nursing or pumping. I've been fighting some inner frustration at myself for wishing I had time to do those things.
I love my baby boy more than I could have imagined and in the future I'll remember to take a deep breath and remind myself that I too do have so much during this season of life and that is more than enough to not have-it-all. Thanks for your thoughts.
And my goodness that is the sweetest little one!

feva said...

Hi Jenny, I have been reading your blog for ages. Always looking forward to new post. Got lots of inspiration from it and you.
As you wrote that some of the blogs you read make you feel inspired and refresh, that is the same to me with your blog. Thanx for that :)

Lots of great wishes far from Slovakia.

Susan Smith said...

When I had my son, my days with him simply vanished. There was things I wanted to do but it just didn't happen. Eventually when he went to school at 4, I went back to university and did a degree. He's now 16 and going into Sixth Form (I live in the UK) so enjoy the time while you can.
I love your blog. I love to sew and knit and it's my ambition to have a handmade wardrobe one day. Take care.

Second Floor Flat said...

Come on back, lady, the water's fine! I started following you years ago, jumped off the blog bandwagon, and am now back on and following again. Would love to read more of your writing and see more photos of that precious wee one of yours!

Lolita Blahnik said...

I have read your blog for years but I have never commented before.
I understand you so well, I had my daughter last February and she needs me so much... I used to knit, sew, take photos etc. now I don´t have time for these things anymore and yes, sometimes it can be frustrating.
As you said nowadays there are lots of amazing blogs, so professional with perfect photos that shows perfect lives... boring! , I don´t like these kind of blogs, they are all the same. I love yours because is really personal and spontaneous, you used to show us little moments of your "not absolutely perfect daily live".
I will be glad when you have time to come back!
See you!

emily said...

i can relate! come back - those of us who are still hanging around would love to have you :)

koala said...

Your daughter is just so beautiful! I love your blog and your sensibility, so it's always a treat to see a new post from you. I just had a baby girl in March, and it was an inspiration to see you when you were a few months a head of me on the way to being a new mom. It's not easy to put a part of yourself out there for people to judge, but I just wanted to say that I love what you do and really appreciate it too :)

Shirley said...

Been reading (with rare interludes of comment contribution) for over 5 years. I can't quite recall when I started but I know it was sometime in college. Through the years you have not changed too much. That consistency is what has contributed to your blogs longevity as evidenced by the many folks who were thrilled to see a new post from you. I myself have checked your blog intermittently the past few months hoping to catch a new entry. (I don't subscribe to blog rolls or have them saved to my browser so I literally seek out the blogs via google search - figured if I really like something I'd remember). Here's hoping you find your mojo again when the time is right. Until then, I like to read your old entries because the information is still as relevant as ever. It's that longevity!

jennifer said...

Just so you know J, I was so excited to happen upon this post on my feedly the other evening whilst pumping:) Miss you! xo

beautifulshell said...

I read a LOT of blogs, and I've been reading yours for a long time because I like your aesthetic and photography and patterns. I hope you make it back here at some point - however you feel like doing that - but as a non-blogger, I totally feel the lack of motivation to share and deal with the negativity. Good luck sorting it all out!

Kate said...

You've perfectly described why I've backed off of my blog lately. You have this desire to be personal, but then you feel like you're speaking to critical strangers suddenly and it feels so uncomfortable and not like a safe space. I really miss you though, Jenny! I wish we could just rewind the internet clock and go back to those glory days:)
Iris looks JUST like you, wow. Genetics are crazy.

heaether said...

you have been missed!

JessMarie said...

Thank you for your honesty here. That is something that is always needed in the blog world and micro-blogging platforms. The blogs that do try to do this, are the ones I keep on reading. Also, just a peek inside a creative process or mode of thinking is why I still read blogs. Instagram is great for a quick hit of social media, but I find blogs to be still relevant in the opportunity sharing information.

It is really too bad you had some critics reading your blog. I do not understand why people feel entitled to do that? I mean, they have no idea how hard it is to open up online and show your life in the first place. I hope you continue blogging! For every critic you may get, I bet you have 20 people who admire your talent and spirit. They just do not happen to write a comment.

It is inspiring that you also struggle with some of the same thoughts I have, and worry about if I were to start a family. Thank you for sharing, it always feels better when you know you are not alone.

xo

Jess Marie
Pine & Boon
Seattle, WA

Julia said...

like everyone else here- i've totally missed your blog. i completely understand why you stopped- besides all the personal/public issues. being a new mom is hard and time consuming! i've done my best to keep up my blog, mostly for myself because i love being able to look back at that space and see where my life was and what i was doing/making at various points over the past seven years. but also because i do still like sharing with the few friends that i know are still reading. anyways. i hope you're able to carve out as much time for your blog as you want to and that you keep sharing here. and that iris is just beautiful. good work mama! xo

Ama said...

Heartfelt as always. Patrick and I both love reading your blog, seeing your rad photos (Iris is a doll!) & hearing about what inspires or annoys you. The blogs I still love to read are the ones from folks I'd most like to meet, who have a voice/humor that resonates with me. Hooray to internet friends! Do whatever feels the most genuine to you, we dig it.

kristen said...

oh my gosh I second everything everyone is saying. you are so unique and your voice is so beautiful. I knit and crochet and my husband went through med school and residency and now is out(!) and I also have an 8 month old. so I love to hear how you are handing it all and how you are feeling with everything. I love your honesty and your creativity. Thank you for sharing your life with us. I know it has got to be so hard sometimes. But thank you for letting us see a little inside your beautiful and complicated and inspiring life and perspective. And your daughter is so so beautiful!

Molly FitzGerald said...

hello!
i check in here from time to time as when i was a new mum with a blog(2007) and you were just beginning to blog, you so kindly took time to look through my pics on flickr and left some of the sweetest comments (i really believed that nobody cared about what little me was up to). i still think about that and how your endeavors and gifts have truly encouraged/inspired so many people. i think that professionalism is great and all but sincerity and overall warmth are quite special in my book. btw, iris is too precious for words. kindly, molly

rachel said...

I've followed your blog since 2009 or something--maybe earlier--also while feeding a newborn, funny enough. I hope you don't stop completely! Your blog and designs and general aesthetic are so inspiring to me, and I would hate to "lose" you as one of the few bloggers I've followed through many life seasons.

rachel said...

I wanted to add that your daughter is so adorable in that little bonnet! And the transition to being a family with a child is so hard. The little one I was nursing when I started reading your blog is seven now, and I told my husband recently I was starting to feel like a human being again. Babies are so wonderful, but I feel like I had to trade almost everything else I enjoyed in order to experience that wonderful. Hugs!

welliewalks said...

Just have to add my love here! Your Iris is so beautiful and I am so glad she has you... and you have her. My husband is out of the house a lot, we move often, and I don't live close to home. My mom would tell me she was so glad I had my girls- and I was/am too- my little companions. I also truly feel that the friends I felt I had through blog reading kept me from total despair during my moves. I didn't feel quite so alone. Those special "friendships" remained constant. So I thank you for that and all that you have shared and how you have inspired me over the years in your quiet and lovely way!

Christie. said...

I completely understand about the hesitation in sharing your world. I think people do still read blogs, and I believe there's an even greater need for ones like yours that are truthful and simple and trying to cram sponsored posts down our throat every day.

I miss reading about your knitting and sewing adventures, and even if you don't want to share your personal life I would still come back to the blog to read about that. I hope you find a happy medium, and good luck with your gorgeous girl - the first year is the hardest in some ways, but you will come out the other side. :)

C.

jennifer said...

I love your blog, Jenny! I feel like I've been able to share a little in your life experiences over the years. But I also think I would feel the same if my readership became so big that it was no longer "personal". Guess you shouldn't have been so good at what you do! ;) I always click on your blog first when I see that there's a new one! I would certainly miss it if you decided to move on, but I will always be grateful for all that you have shared. Take care of yourself and that precious little Iris! Love, Jennifer

Heather said...

I for one love reading your blog, and have tagged along on IG as well. Actually, my son was born the day AFTER Iris! I remember seeing your post about her birth and thinking "She's so lucky, Im so ready to have this baby!" And by that evening I was in labor, haha!

Anyhow....I say that to say YES I know how hard it is to juggle everything with a little one. Many days I feel like I'm just doing a mediocre job at everything. But I have a 7 year old too so that I know--- it gets better! They get more independent and there will be evenings or afternoons again when you can do what you want and pursue your passions. This time when they are so tiny...it doesnt last forever. Its a season in our lives. Hang in there!~

Tania Ho said...

As a mother of a recently turned 4 year old I can tell you that these first years go by very quickly - too quickly sometimes. And suddenly you have a toddler on your hands, who doesn't need so much of your time, and you'll be able to sew, knit and even blog again. As a fan of your designs and a long time follower of your blog I would be sad if you'd stop writing altogether, I hope you can keep it up even if not so frequently. A big hug from Portugal xx

smthecat said...

The bonnet is adorable! Is your friend selling the pattern and if so, where? I'd like to make it for my grandchildren.

Beth said...

What i liked most about you in your early days of blogging was that you kept it real. Something happened in Brooklyn, you weren't you anymore. I like the real you and your real designs. I hope you go back to real again. And I say this with all goodness.

Ursula Dean said...

good news and well spoken. also, just what i suspected happened .. hope you enjoy coming back to writing this blog as much as i am sure everyone else will enjoy having you come back.

*** KITSCH *** said...

I understand you so much!!!
I feel the same with my first son... now with my second, my little girl i do not feel fustrated for not doing everything i would want to... just beeing a mum of two!

The bonnet is so so cute!

kss

http://mykitschworld.blogspot.com.es/2014/08/maternity-experience.html

*** KITSCH *** said...

http://mykitschworld.blogspot.com.es/2014/08/maternity-experience.html

Claudia Martins said...

Hi, Jenny. Iris is adorable! Such a lovely family. Hope to see you more often on the blog!

marissahuber.com said...

Beautifully put, Jenny! I don't read as many, but I like to stop in time to time on the crafters / artists / people that I admire - yourself included. Having a new baby is so hard (mine is almost 2), and it's a major life adjustment. it is inspiring to me to hear other people not pretending that everything is so easy. I'm sorry to hear that people are lame (jealousy, I suspect). Your daughter is precious, and it sounds like you're doing a great job!

Megan said...

Hi Jenny,
I only discovered your blog in the past year (it was a link from another one--Cup of Jo maybe?), and every time I've visited it I've appreciated how beautiful and artistic it is. I think, should you hopefully return to blogging, that you just be yourself. I have read some of the comments on GOMI about other bloggers, and it's shocking how pathetic those people are. They don't really have much of a life, you know? Don't let those strange, pathetic souls get to you.
I can also relate to not having it all. I have three beautiful children (I always longed to have three), and a wonderful husband, and a piano degree that I use to a small extent. My husband is in the Navy, and we have to move every few years, which makes me having a career a challenge, to say the least. That's fine with me, especially for now, but sometimes I do feel a bit inadequate (I am from the high-powered, over-achieving Boston area, and currently live near there). I wouldn't want to "have it all" now anyway, as such a thought exhausts me. Keep on doing your beautiful thing, and
Take care,
Megan

Jen Beck said...

I really appreciate this post. Thank you.